You can't be a Hero
by Blithe Novelties
Summary: It's a normal Saturday, and as he does everyday, America is going to go on a heroic mission. This time, however, he's bringing Tony with him! but...he can't find his bomber jacket. And he can't be a hero without it...or can he?


**AN: This is an oneshot I've had for a while; if you read my journal on dA titled **_**Alfred the Great!**_** Then you have already heard of this idea of mine. In my **_**APH: The Stalker Spell**_** story, when America went to England's it was because 'he couldn't find his jacket,' which I added because I doubted I'd write the original idea as a fanfiction. I have however, and I want to make it known that while in that story America mentioned he could not find his jacket, it has **_**nothing**_** to do with this fanfic. The only thing that irritates me about this oneshot is that it's longer than any chapter of my **_**APH: TSS**_** fanfiction. :P**

**For those of you who wish to know, **_**moi **_**means **_**me **_**in French.**

_**Hetalia **_**belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya and Shinatty Chan belongs to its rightful owner.**

APH: You can't be a Hero _(without a Bomber Jacket):_

At half past ten, America leapt out of bed, laughing. He threw on his clothes haphazardly; leaving his bed unmade, he raced down the hallway of his large home; almost knocking his alien friend, otherwise known as Tony, over.

"Sorry Tony!" the blonde nation shouted over his shoulder as he continued his race to the kitchen.

Tony's only response was to blink his large red eyes and trail after the energetic man; he was used to America's behavior by now, especially on Saturdays, when the already overexcited country became even more hyper.

When the alien reached the kitchen, America had already downed three hamburgers and a large cola for breakfast.

"Eat as fast as you can Tony! I'm taking you on one of my heroic missions, today!" the nation jumped up on the table to pose 'heroically.' "But first, I gotta get my bomber jacket!" he leapt down and raced off again.

Just as Tony was sitting down to eat his breakfast of sugarcoated cereal (the only cereal the hyperactive country happened to have in his house), a scream sounded from America's room.

The green skinned alien looked towards the source, his head slightly cocked in confusion.

_"Tony!" _the blonde wailed as he scrambled into the room. "My bomber jacket's gone!"

Tony's response was to get up from his seat and to walk into the living room, where he began to play one of America's numerous video games.

"Y-y-you're not even going to help me?" his voice faltered.

_"No,"_ the alien didn't bother to look up from the game.

"B-but you're my little alien buddy!"

_"No."_

America's shoulders slumped, "I'm never going to find it on my own…and I can't be a hero without it! Unless…" he snapped his fingers. "That's what I'll do!"

XxX

"Pick up already!" the blue eyed nation hissed at the ringing phone, "What could be more important than helping the hero?"

"Hello?" the voice on the other end said.

"Russia, finally!"

"Ah, hello America," Russia replied cheerfully. "You sound distressed. Nothing is wrong, da?"

"Hey dude, I _really _need your help! Could you come over?"

Only silence answered him.

"Hello? Hello? Russia, man, you there? Hello?" America hung up his phone, sighing. "Man, his service sucks!"

XxX

"Since Russia's phone service is stupid, I'll try China!" the country declared, dialing the Asian nation's number.

China picked up on the second ring, "America?"

"China, can you come over?" America crossed his fingers, "I _need _your he-"

"Aiyah! Are you making me your backup _again?"_

"No, no, no! Dude, listen, my jacket is-"

"I can't help, aru," China sounded anxious to end the conversation. "I'm…uh…going to a Shinatty Chan convention and I have to get ready. Bye!"

"China, _wait!"_ America cried, but the other country had already hung up.

XxX

"Okay, France then," America was on the verge of having a freak out. "France will help me…yeah…"

"Bonjour!" after a few rings, the unmistakable sound of France's voice answered.

"Hey, France, I need your hel-"

"I am sorry, but I cannot come to the phone right now! However, if you leave a message, the wonderful _moi _will get back to you as soon as possible!" _**Beep.**_

"B-b-but…" the blonde stuttered, staring at the phone dumbly. "How come no one wants to help me?" he asked no one in particular.

_'Maybe Tony wants to help me now?' _America dared to hope.

Looking over his shoulder, he shouted, "Hey, Tony, do you wa-"

_"No."_

Whimpering, the country hung up the phone, once again.

XxX

"He _has_ to help! If he doesn't-no think positive! He'll help, we're practically brothers! Right? Right?" America paced back and forth as he waited for his last resort at help to answer.

"What the bloody hell do you want _now,_ you wanker?" England snapped.

_"England, you gotta help me, my jacket is gone and I need help! And you gotta help me, so please, help me!"_ the younger nation had finally reached his breaking point.

"You expect me to understand _that _rubbish? Call me when you learn how to speak proper English. _Git."_

_"Wait!_ England, please don't hang up dude, please!" America begged.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because my jacket's gone and I can't find it and I need your help!" the blonde sobbed.

"You expect me," England said slowly, his anger growing more apparent with each syllable. "To give up _my _Saturday, just to help you look for a jacket?"

"But nobody else will help me! You're the only one left! _Please!"_

"Nobody else will help you, eh?"

"Nobody!" America repeated.

"Well that settles it then. Goodb-"

"No, don't hang up England! I need your help! Please help me out, bro, please!"

On the other end, England sighed, "If I help you, will you stop your begging?"

"Yes, yes, yes!"

"All right, fine, I'll help. But if this is some bloody trick, America, I'll swear I-"

"Bye!" America hung up the phone, relieved.

XxX

While he waited for England, America began to look for his jacket; becoming more hysterical by the second.

_**"****What the bloody hell did you do to your house?" **_England bellowed as he walked into the living room.

The younger nation's home was such a complete and total mess-clothes tossed everywhere haphazardly, broken dishes and glass covering the floor, furniture turned on its side, and video games, movies, and comic books scattered everywhere-that a tornado would've done less damage.

_"England!"_ America blubbered, throwing himself on the floor in front of him, "I started looking for my bomber jacket while I waited for you and I still can't find it!"

"You can't find your jacket," the bushy browed nation's voice was dangerously low, "and you dragged me out here, just to help you find it."

_"Yes!"_ the younger country wailed.

"You made me give up my quiet Saturday at home, just to help you sort through your wreck of a house?" the older country growled.

"I can't find my jacket! Please help me out, bro, please!" he begged.

"You dragged me out here for _nothing!" _England snapped.

"N-n-nothing? B-b-but my bomber jacket's gone and I can't be the hero without it!" America gripped England's shoulders and shook him, as if that would help him understand better. "I _need_ my jacket, dude! I. Need. It. _Now!"_

"What are you doing? Get your filthy hands off of me!" he pushed the younger nation away.

"But England, I need your help!" the self-proclaimed hero sobbed. "I can't find my jacket anywhere!"

"You're wearing it, you git!"

"W-what?" America looked down at his torso, and sure enough, he was wearing his jacket. "Oh…"

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be going home; I've wasted enough of my Saturday as it is," England spat, turning on his heel and exiting the room.

"Hey, dude! Could you help me clean up?" the younger nation shouted after him.

_**"Not on your bloody life!" **_

America shrugged, then, turned to Tony, whom was sitting amidst the disaster area, still playing his video game, "Hey Tony! Do you wanna help me cl-"

_"No," _Tony's eyes never left the screen.

"Oh…that's okay then; I can do it by myself," the blonde smiled, pointing at himself, "because I'm the hero!"

**AN: This was very fun to write. I hope you enjoyed reading it! :3 **


End file.
